Sigh...

I compare Teatro to a special multi-flavored cookie which I was not ment to eat. Appetizing and aluring at first with all its almonds, raisins, chocolate chips, creamy fudge, mini m&m's, caramel filling, and whatnot. I was so snagged by this morsel that before I knew it, I had already taken a bite out of the thing. A big one. I thought to myself, "Oh goodie." and began to chew. I was in heaven as the flavour set in but soon it got messy. The ingredients mixed and mashed with each other confusing the taste. I initially decided to spit it out but being the man I am I stuck with it determined to finish the thing. Now, I regret not discarding it sooner. Looks like the cookie mutated into icky paste inside my mouth which I am having trouble getting rid of. I chew and chew and chew and chew till I cant take it anymore hoping it'll disappear only to make it worse. But with this toothbrush I call "reason" and this toothpaste I name "practicality", I shall purge myself of this cookie called "Teatro" and wash the aftertaste down with some milk called "rest".

...


Hey what can I say? I've finally decided to throw in the towel. Soon Teatro is just going to be another chapter in my life. Everything I've worked for till now would be for naught. All the trust I built up as an aspiring member shall be gone. As bad as it sounds, somethings need to be shoved aside to reveal the goal I intend to acheive. The experience was golden though and the short time I've spent with them was all I wanted. Heh, I'm sure a hell lot of people are gonna be pissed but I'll make it up to them one way or another. Sigh, good times. Before I put on hold and decide what to do with my passion for the arts...

I think give myself a few more moments to bask in its fulfilling greatness... then maybe I'll I can walk away from it satisfied... for the time being.

The integral

What is it that all men need in life? Riches? Prestige? The world perhaps? All are but secondary to the one true objective men seek that has not only been their inspiration in achieveing success but ironically has also been their downfall since time and memorial. The answer? Women. The Yin. The integral. The one thing men cant live without. The one thing I cant live without.

This creates certain complications in my once simple life. What used to be a bothersome problem soon escalated into a crisis. A crisis of parallel interests if you will. Nurtured by my indecisive nature, its currently causing too much psychological noise for me to function well. The chaos ensuing within the very depths of my essence is indescribable. This situation demands action. Actions I am to afraid to make. Soon, I need to move soon. Damn, if it wasn't for the attention and wisdom of my inner circle I would be so lost right now.

Sigh...

The integral. It's echoes ring in my head in random intervals constantly blocking out thoughts and reason.

Heh, when I think about it. Who's fault is it that Adam got involved in the famous scandal which led to his banishment from the gardens of Eden? Eve. Who seduced some of the greatest rulers in history for her own personal gain at the expense of innocents? Cleopatra. Who indirectly threw the Phillipines into turmoil using wit, cunning and lies? Emelda Marcos.

Whats the point I'm trying to make? Even though the "Yin" has proved time and time again that they are capable of causing such mayhem, they are still respected, revered and glorified.

Its like its their world and men just live in it... men being nothing more than sheep in a flock herded by women.

Sigh, The integral. Draging me into its vortex of confusion. Persuading me to be pulled deeper and deeper into its mystery. Inspiring me to continue walking into its alluring void.

Beautiful. Simply awesome...

Arrr matey!

Oh yeah! Its finally out in theaters! Ze Pirates are back and are rocking the silver screen baby! YeAh!

Ahem... anyway, some baby typhoon hit us at the wrong time a while back. Nothing much, cut classes to half day even though our schedule was already... half day... bleh whatever.

After class me and some DotA (yes, I know, eww right?) buddies went out for a game and I also had some ass to pwn.

I made this little gamble with a blockmate. Nothing much, just a 100ph to the winner of a short 1 o 1. I won but I felt a bit guilty so I let it slide to 4 games which ended up in a draw. Yep, 2 - 2. Good games though.

As I tried to make my way back into UST the guards kept us along with a throng of people at bay saying that we weren't allowed back in anymore. But I had some Teatro buisness to attend to so what did I do? I jumped the damn fence that wasn't guarded. Yeah thats a first... someone actually trying to break into school.

Anyway, I relived that sneaky move with my heads at the office and to my surprise they were shocked. Turns out there were survelance camera's probing every entrance... w 0 0 t! How exciting.

Some drama unfolded between me and my "former" head... sigh... it was good heart to heart talk.

That pretty much sums up my day.

Oh, and I was late again... I'm such a badass ahohohoh lololol !!1!11!!1

Tick tock.

Frankly, this week seemed like a month. My sched. has been screwed by Teatro responsibilities and by screwed I mean I come home 'round 10 - 11 pm on a daily basis. Yes, on a DAILY basis which means the only study time I have is on Sunday. *sigh* I signed myself up for social suicide. Al the free time I had before is gone. All those hours of mindless bliss has been blotched with Teatro activities. My health isnt all that good either since I'm contantly being harrassed by physical and emotional attacks. Even though I know my vitality is above average I cant keep up with this unless I get used it.

Then there's my parents with their nagging about how this Organization is a waste of time and effort. Well, part of me agree's with them and wishes they stop me... but no, they actually supported me... dammit. Wasted. Thats exactly how I feel right now. I lack sleep, I lack study, I miss my friends, Rose is probably hating me and my parents might kick me out sooner or later.

Now the question is, is it all worth it? Should I continue sacrificing my own well being for my passion. I still dont have a good ans. and my time is steadily running out. I hope that the calm after this storm is as good as it sounds because frankly I'd rather just drown than survive.