The Exhaust.: November 2006

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Broken Circles

What happens when friends fail you? How dire is the effect on you when you realize that the word 'friend' is just a front to cover up for your role as a pin-cushion or resource? Should one decide to adjust to the needs and endure or to simply expell from the circle?

Tis complicated this relationship between friends where one is undermined as the other dominates mercilessly. Tis sickening the feeling of being crushed under the whims of an individual who swore allegiance to you as you did in return. Tis confusing the whispers since they change so abruptly it creates the dreaded feeling of doubt and yet you take every word not letting the fear get in the way of loyalty.

Its all so... sad.

And into my shell I'm driven to contemplate on what has become of the bonds where I shedded blood and cried tears for. Into mine shattered self I retreat to de-mystify events that caused me the utmost distress. In my distorted mind I shall blindly grope for epiphanies to the term 'Friendship' till I can finally figure out how such a word came to be and if its still willing to thrive within me.

My faith has weakened. My circle is broken. My disappointment is unshared and eating me alive.

Heh, the shit I get into without even trying.

Amazing.