Unfocused

Art by: Underfunded

Listening to: Sugar were going down - String Quartet Tribute to Fall Out Boy

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Lost. Feeling a bit wasted. Kinda dizzy. Stomachs a bit squiggly too. Worried. Happy's on hold.

I wanted to do something that I'm sure would've secured my future but cant anymore since my credit and ATM card has been seized to keep me from 'messing up again'

Yeah, I guess I deserved that. After all the blunders I've caused in the recent pass I guess that...

Oh wait! Check this out!

LOL! Thats me and Fifi. Genius artist. Good friend. Check her works out, http://masoliar.deviantart.com/?offset=100. Props to Thes for this spoof, its a good laugh. I look so freakin fugly its hilarious!

Yeah so where was I... oh yeah. I guess I better just live with it. I mean, after all they could be right. When your distorted you gotta depend on the people around you to point the way. Trust them the same way they trusted you even after all the wrongs and dongs you made.

I just realized that I'm still in that stage where I shrug off responsibilites. I'm such a dumbass. How can I drift when I'm still sitting down wanting to drift? How can I see the bigger picture if I'm still too lazy to stand and take a few steps back? How can I need when all I think of are wants? Hah! What an epiphany!

Unfocused. Yup thats another I be. I wanna do this and that and everything so in the end nothing happens. Music. I rock at that! Theater. The stage is my life! Money. Buisness and work I come for ye! Study. I'ma just do that later! Later? Haha, there is no later. Later = Later. Screw the later and get on with the now!

All these things, these factors, this miasma of chaotic intentions blur obvious critical choices and in doing so twist the halfbaked plans into feasible courses of action.

Spin spin spin spin spin... spin spin spin spin...

It spirals down too fast that the rush is mistaken for living the life of time worthitness and thrill. Irreversible yet optimism saves the day because I came across the idea of turning the downward turns upside down till it becomes the inverted corkscrew leading to cloud 9.

A flicker of flame spouts as streaks of smoke mix and mash as everything untangles for me to renew. Sporting a calm smile under city night sky I thought bout stuff till a tickle of satisfaction ushered me to remember old realizations.

With a sigh, I bring happy back into my sytem and laugh at myself for once agian trying to nail everything down in a single go. What a dumbass. Hah!

Finally! Standing up from my stagnant state of existance comes hither!

And I can finally create some smiles from the good souls that kept me from going under...

Sigh...

w 00 t !!!

Cheers everyone! Smile for the cookie!

=D