Circling my predicament.

What did I get myself into...

Recap

Last Saturday I managed to arise in the wee hours of morn to ready myself for the whole day audition for a guild in UST called "Teatro Tomasino". I was excited and ready to take on anything since I was confident that I would ace every test they would throw at me. The first part of the day was fine. They made us do several exercises that was related to drama and on stage perfomance which I'm sure augmented my skills as an artist. Everything was going smoothly as I strutted my mastery of theater as best as I possibly until the after lunch meeting where the interveiws were about to take place.

I scoffed as I thought to myself "Its in the bag..." thought I soon realized I was sadly mistaken. There were 3 interviews namely Artistic, Management and Technical, which I had to participate and finish before I could call it a day. Artistic was all right since my musical talent satisfied them easily. Management was a different story though. My task was to go around campus and collect donations amounting to a P100 before I could pass. It was a freakin emotional... I was exposed to good people and fuckers who dont know how to care. What really surprised me though was the fact that the majority of those who helped me were girls (n_n)V Yeah baby I put my mojo in motion right thur. Anyway, the last part was Technical. Whew, I was almost done with 1 more to go before I secure my first step in the organization.

Now this is where it gets dramatic. A lot of people were already considering quitting after they realized that this was serious shit. And after a short talk with the head in charge of the interveiw... I handed over my application form and threw in the towel, convinced that I didn't have enough time for it. So there I was, walking away from the office behind the UST botanical garden, wrestling with my passion for the arts, wanting to go back but instead I followed my mind instead, it was so intense that I actually stopped in my tracks to think it over.

Just as I had enough of thinking and was about to walk away from it all... a voice called to me... a gay one. It was one of the club heads, shouting out "Dont quit!!". I was surprised he actually cared... and I was simply speechless when some of my fellow auditionee's talked me into finishing what I started. Who was I to deny them their wish that I stay and fight? So I stayed over till I finally finished the last interveiw and was ready to hit the showers.

And thats the recap of how all this shit started.

As of today I'm an aspiring member of the Teatro Tomasino but right now I'm having some serious second thoughts. I just got home from a meeting with the guild thats purpose was to inform me of my objectives and so that I could assign myself to a role for some production that they were currently undertaking. I happily signed my named for the position of Assistant Stage Manager or ASM. My friends advised me againts it because of the level of difficulty. Too bad my mind was already made up. Later on they were holding auditions for roles so I stayed behind to try my luck. Sadly, luck can only bring you so far. My lack of skill in the language of Tagalog killed me before I even started... I wasn't expecting this to happen... for me to fail so miserably... but I guess that failure is neccesary in order to acheive.

Now I'm wondering if I should stick with my passion or follow my mind. Thus I shall be circling my predicament for now until I understand what must be done.